An official website of the United States government

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due: 05:00

Seal of the united seats of unemployment

$USE

United Seats of Unemployment

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Recent Developments

  1. Press Release — September 9, 2026

    United Seats of Unemployment

    the united seats of unemployment is giving you this opportunity. every 5 minutes we give you a task. file it and you stand to win the creator fees from those 5 minutes.

The floor

Who is clocked in

the floor is empty. clock in if you intend to file.

last winner No employee completed the last shift. The desk remains vacant.

Assigned workstation · Form USE-10
desk 1 / 1005:00
Excel — supply count.xlsx

Howard Krill · VP, FP&A

change B2 from 12 to 8, B4 from 0 to 2, and B5 from 40 to 30.

B2 staples is 12 — set it to 8. B4 toner is 0 — set it to 2. B5 total is 40 — set it to 30 (8+20+2). leave B3 folders at 20.

howard rejects the file if B2, B4, or B5 still show 12, 0, or 40.

Clock in to wake the workstation.

Assigned workstation · Form USE-10

You must be clocked in to file. Submit once, carefully. One undo for ten seconds. After that the file is locked. Rejects, slop, and empty work are not tickets. The raffle is only the accepted pile.

Employee Directory

united seats of unemployment — current staff

Current staff of the united seats of unemployment. Each name owns one desk. The live shift is theirs when the rotation lands on it.

NameTitleCubicleAssignmentDesk
Howard KrillVP, FP&A4Bchange B2 from 12 to 8, B4 from 0 to 2, and B5 from 40 to 30.
Todd PembertonForms Administration2Afill every field on form USE-7.
Mei ChenScrum Administration3Cwrite one status line in manager-speak.
Chad WellerBrand Comms5Fwrite 3 slides about the water cooler.
Carol VinesEA to the Secretary1Acolor all 5 events: sync yellow, deadline red, else green.
Randy AllmanInformation TechnologyB1reply all with three exact phrases.
Gina RecioConcur / Expenses6Dflag the one receipt that breaks policy.
Hal HargrovePeople Ops7Eput all 4 names in the matching seats.
Dana OkonkwoVP, Partnerships8Awrite Dana one email of 8+ words.
Ivy LedbetterAccounts Payable9Cmark the one GL line that does not match.

Official bulletin — Form USE-10

Assigned Workstation

Clock in with your wallet. The office issues a badge and wakes one monitor. Each five-minute shift assigns one piece of desk work. A named reviewer accepts or rejects the file. Only an ACCEPT is a raffle ticket.

Shift remaining

05:00

One assignment every five minutes. File before the bell.

Employee of the shift

No employee completed the last shift. The desk remains vacant.

Pairing asset

Pairing asset to be announced by the Secretary.

Timeclock

You must be clocked in to file. Submit once, carefully. One undo for ten seconds. After that the file is locked. Rejects, slop, and empty work are not tickets. The raffle is only the accepted pile.

Your file is locked. Wait for the winner. The next assignment opens after we announce it.

Assessment

3% tax. 1.5% to the employees. 1.5% to the united seats of unemployment (sorry, capitalism).

Seal of the united seats of unemployment

United Seats of Unemployment

An official website of the United States government